hi.

I love having crazy dreams about things you’re worried about - when you wake up it feels like you had somewhat of a breakthrough about it and also it seems like a deep, meaningful, experience. But about 20 minutes from now I’ll realize that the dream was semi-nonsensical and I’ll feel cheated soooo….

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: 2 job offers, on the spot, in 2 days. I don’t like gloating but this is one time I need to.

I hate talking about myself because I worry I sound like a broken record. But maybe I only think I will because I obsess and overthink every aspect of my life, so I’m tired of it and assume others will be too…but me thinking about this itself is an example of that……….ahhh.

What I’m afraid of is, in order to make myself happy, I’ll just start trying to fill in the blanks. I’ll go back to school for no reason. I’ll find someone I can tolerate that I don’t really care about it and have a relationship with them for no reason. I’ll have babies for no reason. I’ll just keep cluttering the room of my life with things that I think will make me happy, just like every other young person does - “that’s what people do, so I should do it to to make myself happy!”

I hope instead I’ll find something that I believe in, and someone that I believe in, and that’ll make my life meaningful. Achieving personal goals and helping someone I care about achieve theirs.

Mindless clutter is just as bad in your life as it is in your bedroom closet. Speaking of which….:)

save the last dance for me?

ehehehe double chocolate muffin at 5 AM

dreamt I ‘started a band’ and ‘made it bigger’ than arcade fire which made me feel ‘kinda sad’

I don’t want no scrubbbbbb